Hollywood October 2021

As many of you know, my nearest and dearest friend Damian, Dante….no, sorry it’s Daniel is a bad influence and forces me to to take our show on the road. This time, we set out to set Hollywood ablaze. They had no way to prepare, like a massive earthquake of talent and beauty, leaving bystanders in awe.

I arrived on Monday and took the hour long Uber ride from LAX to the beautiful and historic Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel. As I was checking in, the receptionist informed me the pool had been privately rented for the following days, so if I wanted to enjoy the pool, Monday was my only chance. I dropped my bags off in the room, changed from my travel wardrobe to my pool wear and headed down. The pool wasn’t too busy, and I was given a beautiful lounge to relax in. The food and drinks were delicious and it was cloudy enough that I could lay there, relaxing without burning. Two women clad in bikinis walked by with a bucket of champagne and told me how much they loved my outfit. They were later escorted away from the pool as they were not guest. An emo/rocker male and female couple were sitting on the opposite side of the pool from me approached me after my 2nd dirty gin martini. They said they noticed me as soon as I arrived and invited me up to their room for “some fun.” They didn’t look like human traffickers, so I’m assuming they wanted a bisexual 3 way. I simply thanked them for the offer, but was enjoying myself too much to move a muscle. Yikes. This pool is where an episode (possibly more than 1) of I Love Lucy was filmed when they were in Hollywood. I spoke to every staff member and nobody there could confirm which episode(s) where filmed there. Either way, it was incredible.

Daniel arrived the following day and we started with a delicious breakfast, hung out at Girhidelli malt shop hoping to be discovered like Miss Lana Turner (to no avail) and then went to the Abbey bar later in the day for tacos and drinks. My crown had broken the week before and my dentist couldn’t replace it for another week. So Daniel and I laughed our asses off at my bumpkin mouth. That night, across the street from the hotel was the Chinese Theatre where the Halloween Kills premiere was taking place. So after hanging out with Jamie Lee Curtis, I went to bed.

Wednesday was the day to beat, spent at Universal Studios on the VIP tour. So worth it. Got to see the set of the TV show The Good Place, along with Murder She Wrote, Jaws, Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, The Great Outdoors, and more. The host of the tour was named Lary and was an absolute delight. They offered us breakfast and a beautiful lunch buffet. After all this we met up with Louis and his boyfriend Zack and started riding the rides, we did Transformers and The Mummy 2 twice, then Simpsons, Harry Potter, Minions, Life of Pets…the rides were fun as they were more immersive experiences,not just roller coasters. Although, all the jerking around you really need a dramamine and to make the decision to either eat and drink that day or ride the rides. We had some butter beer(cream soda) and contemplated a giant Simpson donut, but that was too much bread for me to handle. When the day was over we returned to the hotel to discover the the Bar, which we never got to experience was booked filming some music people making covers of queen songs. The name Jojo and Shawn somebody were filming there. The pool we discovered was taken over by the Amazon Prime tv series I know what you did last summer and apparently Billy eilish was on the rooftop filming for some late night talk show.

Daniel and I had a delicious breakfast and I took that long journey back to LAX. Southwest airlines(a poor people experience, had canceledall of their flights meaning that the airports and other airlines were being bombarded by cheap ass flyers who look and smell like they belong in cattle carts. It was rough. Overall, it was another exciting Daniel excursion, even though Andie and Nick weren’t able to come join us. I was reminded quite instantly upon my arrival why I will never live in California again. This trip confirmed I am a Parisian to the core, if I can’t safely walk from one end of the city to the other, it’s nowhere I want to be.

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