On a chilly winter night back in Boston, is how I came to discover what happens after we die. Jerry (boyfriend at the time) and I went to see a rather forgettable movie earlier in the evening and neither of us were happy about it. We had a movie theater dinner (Hot dogs, popcorn, etc) and on the way home we had stopped by Sister Sorel for a quick drink. As there were no regulars at the bar, and being it was just Jerry I had to talk to, we finished our drinks and went home.
Jerry was a very good guy, smart, funny and a real sweetheart, unfortunately I was never in love with him. And the few months that we dated, I should have stopped it, but never had the courage to do it. Jerry was from Houston, a graduate of MIT and on his way to Yale Med. Jerry was a die-hard Catholic, and I am a die-hard atheist. He enjoyed everything pop culture, and I pretty much despise pop culture after the 1990’s. It was really never meant to be.
I was living in the South End of Boston, an amazing little neighborhood with fun bars and restaurants. I lived 2 blocks away from my job, which made commutes a breeze, and there were a number of gay bars within that walking distance, so happy hours were never missed with my coworkers. We saw a movie downtown and walked back towards my place. Usually we would stay at his place in Cambridge as he and his roommate rented a house there, but on this fateful night, we made the rare decision to stay at my place.
We got changed into our pajamas and crawled in to bed. Nothing was on TV, so we watched an episode of Golden Girls on Lifetime, had a few laughs and finally went to sleep.
My conscious awoke and what I was viewing was astounding. The entire universe was sparkling all around me. I was flying through outer space and able to observe the planets, the stars, all of the magic the galaxy has to offer. I felt an inner peace, no pain or struggling, no worries or fear. I was gliding through the sky and discovering all of the natural beauty around me. I knew in an instant that this was the afterlife. Our conscious’ leaving our body behind and returning back to the universe. It was incredible. I was able to fly through planets, stars, even black holes. I witnessed a supernova happening right before my eyes. Nothing could have prepared me for such an incredible experience. This was my Revelation, our souls and/or conscious are created in the universe. We have the ability to take on a physical form, if we so choose. If not, we can explore the universe as we wish. Such an incredible feeling. No God, no heaven or hell, just the beauty of nature.
I knew that this experience was about to come to an end, not forever, but only until I died completely. I started to debate with myself “Should I tell him?”
“Kevin, wake up!” I heard Jerry calling to me. I was still questioning “Should I tell him?” Jerry started to shake me and telling me to wake up. I finally awoke. Jerry was concerned I was having a diabetic attack, he told me that I was saying out loud “Should I tell him?” it was 3:47am, my blood sugar must have dropped in the night. This can happen to Diabetics if they do not eat a proper dinner or snack before going to bed.
I went downstairs and got a glass of milk and a peanut butter sandwich. I took it back upstairs with me to bed, and sat there beside Jerry who was making sure I was eating and ok. As my blood sugar began to return to normal, Jerry looked at me with questioning concern. “What did you mean by ‘should I tell him?'” It took a moment for me to review everything I had experienced and try to relate it all to being back on this planet in a human form. I finished eating my sandwich and drinking the milk, and thought about the best way to tell him.
As I have said previously, Jerry was a very devout Catholic, with a strong hold and belief in his faith. The question I was asking myself was, should I tell him about the afterlife. It isn’t what he has been raised to believe, and was something he probably wouldn’t believe. I told him that I had a life changing experience, but that he might not want to hear about it. He starred in to my eyes and told me he wanted to know.
I started to explain what had happened, the beauty and wonder I witnessed, what happens to our souls when we die. He said, “it was just a dream from low blood sugar.” Then he sunk down in bed and went to sleep. He didn’t believe me, and I didn’t expect him to.
I knew this wasn’t a dream from low blood sugar, I have had low attacks before and never once experienced anything like this. I could feel and touch everything I had experienced. This actually happened. The low blood sugar must have killed me for a moment, and my soul, enjoying the experience, knew that I wasn’t yet done here on earth. I died, got to experience the real after life, and lived to tell the tale.
As far as the hundreds of follow-up questions (e.g. What about past loved one, do you reunite, can you choose what you go back as, etc, etc, etc), The answer to it all is: I don’t know. I was only dead for a few brief moments, but in that time I got to discover more than any human being has ever done. I’m not a religious person at all, even though I was raised Lutheran, but I think that the afterlife I endured for that moment, was rather spectacular.
No, I don’t fear death…I’m looking forward to it, again.