As I busy myself typing away my novel, I realised that a thirty thousand page novel would be too long for the novice reader. So I’m toying with the idea of breaking it down in to a series. That should make it easier when the film series is released too.
Kevin Knows Mr. Allison. This will be about that Halloween in the village when I was dressed as a nun and was torn between the dashing Japanese guys at the bar dressed as zombies who kept buying me drinks and those american guys dressed as sailors who had me doing shots from their belly buttons. I have always admired Deborah Kerr, so I loved the similarities. Although I did fall in love a few times that night, I couldn’t have committed to either group. I’ve heard of a throuple relationship or a ménage à trois , but me dating 7 guys at the same time would be outlandish. I was almost 22, no longer in high school. Now that I’m 23, I realized I made the right decision.
The next novel could be called All Dogs go to Kevin. This would highlight the hundred of thousands of dates I suffered with the dogs that are out there. The one who did nothing but talk about himself and how amazing he was for three hours. Or the guy who ordered the bottle of French champagne and only after finishing it all by himself realised he left his wallet at home. Then there was that time the guy told me that we had to go on a date in Brooklyn because his boyfriend lived in Manhattan and didn’t want him to find out. What kind of an asshole makes one go to Brooklyn? Anyway, this would be a good cautionary tale for the gays just starting to date. I wonder if I could publish real names???
A good introductory novel could be Between Kevin and Hell. This could detail my life growing up in the sad sorry town of Hutto Texas, and my quest to escape. Although Texas is usually hotter than what those religious nut bags believe Hell is.
The Other Side of Kevin. This wouldn’t be so much of a novel, but more of a beautiful photo book of my back side, mon derrière, my cheeks o’ round. This would keep coffee tables lit for decades to come.
Next would have to be Locked Out of Kevin. This would be all about my public and humiliating affair with
Bruno Mars. Some men just can’t accept that they’ll never have me. Although Bruno wanted to use this title as the title for his song, my lawyers had to put and end to that. It could have really hurt my public image.
Tears in Kevin. The many sad moments of my young life will be covered extensively in this book. From my diabetes, to my mother’s struggle with cancer, this book will have the reader crying like child for all 872 pages.
Finally, Stairway to Kevin. This book will cover many of the life altering moments that define my existence. From being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, being arrested for public intoxication, getting deported, saving an island from going up in flames to my unyielding love and passion for Paris France.
These are just a few thoughts I have while organizing my mind. I’ll need a publisher who can handle a big job, and pays obscenely too much money. Anyway, back to work.